Enough with the tears and sadness...today brings a fresh start and a new perspective. I’m going to dust myself off, find my hope, and start thinking positively again. I will not let one person without integrity sour my view on adoption and this process. I refuse to give her the power. I.just.won’t.
So – a musical pause to regroup and get my bearings.
I love The Be Good Tanyas. I know they have been around for a long time, but they are relatively new to me. I was at work this morning, listening to my ipod, and their song “Ootischenia” started playing. I absolutely love that song, but had never really paid attention to the lyrics. A few lines caught my attention, so I went to their website to find the actual lyrics. While there, I saw the lyrics to another song of theirs that helped me turn the corner.
Okay…first I sobbed like a little baby (I mean full on, snot-dripping-down-my-face, my-work-colleagues-must-have-thought-I-was-losin’-it crying) and then I turned the corner.
The song says everything I feel – about the baby we thought would join our family, and the baby that will hopefully one day be matched with us. And so, here are lyrics to that sweet little song. I’m sure I’m not the only one who can relate.
A Little Blues
The Be Good Tanyas
(© Parton)
Well here I am undone again
I know I’ll see you I just don’t know when
Little stars all a-twinkling
I wonder where you are
I wonder what you’re thinking
I know I gave my heart a little soon
I walk for miles underneath the moon
I’ll sing this sad lonesome little tune
For you
Little patch of grass under the overpass
I’ll rest for hours amid the flowers
Just a tiny bird with a little song
And when the sun comes up
I’ll be long gone.
Hello, My Old Friend
5 years ago
2 comments:
The no-go match is really hard. The process is hard. When we were going through this our social worker said she believes the right thing is what happens & it sounded a bit whoo whoo. I have come around to believe she was right, whoo whoo as it sounds.
Pulling for that conclusion.
Hi Limbo-Mama; I just read some of your postings. I found you through Production not Reproduction and I just have to say that I applaud your openness in sharing your story. I wish I had started blogging when I was first starting the adoption process. I went through everything you are going through- including a few failed matches. I hope you find the inner strength to continue the adoption process. (I would have sobbed to the lyrics of that song too, by the way.)
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