A Word of Thanks

I wanted to take the time to say thank you to everyone in the blog-o-sphere who has offered their support during this time. And although only two people in my real life even know about this blog, I feel compelled to thank all of my friends and family who have been so incredibly thoughtful. I appreciate every hug – real or virtual; every email; every letter; every text message; every spur of the moment lunch date; every distracting get-together that helped take my mind off the sadness.

When I first found out that the match had failed, I felt incredibly stupid for having believed it might have been successful in the first place, and regretted that I told anyone about it (including writing about it in this post). Even though we hadn’t told many people about the match, it seemed an overwhelming chore to inform everyone of the eventual outcome.

Shortly after getting the news, we received a letter from a friend that affected us deeply. Her kind words helped us reframe the emotions we were experiencing, and gave us a new perspective on things. It struck me as I read the letter that its sentiment can extend to all members of the adoption triad. Though it does have its joyous moments, there is no denying that adoption is a difficult process that often emerges from a place of loss and grief – both for the birth family, as well as the adoptive family. I’d like to share a bit of the letter we received:

“I believe that the love that brought you to desire this child and the love that already bonded you to him or her is something of extraordinary worth. The grief that is born of that love is a reflection of who you both are and your courage in being willing to feel it is an inspiration to everyone who knows you.”

Beautiful.